Bloom

“The desert and the parched land will be glad;the wilderness will rejoice and blossom.Like the crocus, it will burst into bloom;it will rejoice greatly and shout for joy.The glory of Lebanon will be given to it,the splendor of Carmel and Sharon;they will see the glory of the Lord,the splendor of our God.”

– Isa.35.1-2 NIV

What it take for you to burst into bloom? For your weary desert view to burst into freshness?

I begrudgingly identify as an Ennegram five. When I first read the description in Suzanne Stabiles book “ “ , I felt deep shame , empathy, and also a profound sense of belonging.

For too long , like (until my thirties), I thought that the way I see the world was wrong. Little did I know that there are many people like me. People who come to each new day with a limited about of relational energy, wondering how they will ever have enough, do enough, or be enough for their loved ones.

We desire to be present partners and nurturing moms and good friends and …

And we often feel like we just don’t have enough, like we are pulling water from nearly empty reservoirs.

And sometimes, we feel empty. Catastrophically , fatally empty.

If I stay in this empty space for too long, it can quickly swerve into depression.

We know our spouses and kids and parents and siblings need us. But how can we show up when we have nothing left to give? We do it. Or at least we try. But we are holding back a bit, desperate to hang on to a piece of ourselves.

Barren wasteland, dry desert, impoverished soul.

So I ask you, as I often ask myself when I get to this point, what would it take for me to bloom? What would it take for you to bloom? For flowers to burst forth in your desert?

Because isn’t it both? We can’t rid ourselves of our desert fully. But maybe we aren’t supposed to.

Maybe, just maybe this specific way you are put together with your mind, will, emotions, experiences, personality… maybe life isn’t about overcoming your natural bent so much as learning to flourish within your limits?

Maybe becoming mature is about learning and leaning. Leaning into the way God made us. Learning to cultivate the things that lead to blooms in our personal desert.

So that then we can love others from a place of wellness and wholeness . Investing in them and encouraging them to grow their gardens in the midst of adversity, too.